For once, I thought it would be fun to write a different blog post. Dating after divorce has been an adventure to say the least. From the ups and downs of how to communicate or navigating how much dating has changed, I get the biggest chuckles at pick up lines and sweet intentions. The men I have met online and through friends have been incredibly kind, somewhat hilarious and have given my friends and I endless conversation. How do you date post divorce? Carefully and with intention as you figure out what makes you smile and gives life.
Dating apps and setups
Most people try dating apps and I’ve been on a couple. With most of my success being on Hinge, I’ve found some nice men to date. And some well-intentioned people have setup me up. I have viewed this whole process as sort of as an interview. You’re interviewing the other person to see if there is any potential for something more or interest beyond a photo or two. I’ve also been stood up, catfished, and sent some crazy things, which create the wildest stories. But for the most part, I’ve personally met some very interesting guys with varying professional backgrounds. Not opposed to trying it again in the future, but dating apps are time consuming and focusing elsewhere is a current priority.
Figuring out what you want
This has been the interesting part of the process. Because these apps and friends present so many options, you have to really hone in on what makes you tick and what you are attracted to. What interests do you all have in common? Are they willing to talk off the app? Actually picking up the phone is amazing. I didn’t realize people stopped calling each other. Could you develop a friendship? For me personally, does he really have faith and live that out? Does he hike, like music, outdoor activities, and travel and adventures? Does he make me smile and is he really interested in me as a person? And do I make him smile and bring him joy? My heart is to bring joy and laughter to my person. These are the fun and sometimes exhausting things you get to think about in this dating adventure.
Letting God lead
Finally surrendering this process to God has been very hard for me. I waited a year to date because of the heartache you go through when your marriage doesn’t survive. Grieving takes time. Eventually you move forward, heal and let go of any past mistakes you made. In the surrender, you find out who you are, and what beliefs need to be healed. My inner healing counselor has been graciously pushing/pulling me through the process of considering different areas that are still tangled up. We’ve worked through a lot of different questions and scenarios as my heart heals. God really is doing a redemptive work and I’m excited to see who is on the other side of this work.
For my newly single and divorced friends, we have laughed and sometimes cried, at the wonderful men we’ve dated. It has been fun and will continue to be so as we navigate this new season. I hope if you meet someone online, through friends or in real life, you cherish the person you date. They are a gift in helping you move in the right direction.