Encouragement Relationships


Seasons of change can be amazing and hard. Walking into new seasons with fresh eyes of hope is exhilarating. There are so many amazing lessons to learn from sitting at the wall the last two years. I recently started seminary and one of the first books we’ve had to read is ‘The Critical Journey’. In this book is the description of the spiritual journey and how people act through the 6 phases of this journey. There’s no formula or prescribed way in which to encounter God, but it gives fresh perspective of what trials can bring. Everyone’s healing journey’s look different, but some key components are necessary to moving forward.


The process of forgiveness and reconciliation is complex and the central factor in the forgiving process is God. It is vital to invite God to be in the middle of it. The holistic way of addressing your issues is involving each area of our self. It involves the mind (thinking of what it is you need to do), the spirit (experiencing the lack of freedom and the need to release a person or forgive oneself), and the body (actually doing the ritual). Whether it’s inner healing, writing letters to someone you need to forgive and release or having a healing service for yourself, rituals are an important to component to letting go. The most helpful part of forgiveness is being honest about the other person’s part of the pain and your part of the pain.

Loving Detachment

Once we move into forgiveness and reconciliation, and keep our eyes on God by staying grounded in our healing experience, we will feel the what’s called loving detachment. “We can observe others’ behavior, feel sadness and grief about it, have a clear sense of our issues and boundaries, and lovingly detach from getting caught in their pain and unhealed system,” (The Critical Journey). We can love without being clingy, be honest, and love without fear. It gives us compassion on those no seems to care about and we can love our enemies. A central key to this is keeping gratitude as a centerpiece of our lives. Each day when you first get up, thank God. This helps move our hearts toward joy.

Moving Past the Wall

Moving beyond the wall (trial) and it’s intense inner work allows us to reengage our family, friends, lives and our work. It gives us the blessing of being more present in a meaningful way. This can also lead us to work directly in the field related to our pain. Sometimes we pursue full-time work related to our healing in the wall. But we do come out on the other side more compassionate, humbler, more aware of the pain of others, and more loving. Quite a transformation takes place and our life is no longer our own.

My own experience at the wall has been joyful and painful at the same time. Coming into a new season of hope and moving past the wall, has been transformative. Smiles of joy cross my face because of the freedom God has given me. God is making room for a new thing this year. Let 2022 be a time of reveling in his goodness.


Heather V Shore is a wife, mother and domestic violence survivor. Check out her site for book updates and more!

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