Healing family wounds brings transformative changes that shape a generation. I sat with these words this week as more things continue to be reset in my life. Flying through life at a breakneck speed has caused a new level of fatigue which isn’t healthy. Unhealth has been knocking at our door the last few years and all of the last two years of trauma came to a roaring head in February. As I sat on my couch literally unable to move, I started to ponder more about the legacy I’m leaving behind for my family. Never did I want to be the generational bondage breaker; it happened or maybe I was chosen. But either way, it became apparent slowing down was part of the answer.
Changing our identity
In a recent writing exercise, the instructor asked the question if your house was burning down, what would you grab? I’d grab my kids, my purse with my IDs, safety deposit box (again more IDs) and my Bible. The rest can burn to the ground. My kids and my identity are the most precious things to me. Being grounded and rooted in love (Ephesians 3:17) will lead you into finding your identity in Christ. One thing I have wanted to give my kids is a firm foundation on Jesus, his love and how to minister to those around us.
When we deal with family wounds, we are setting ourselves up for an abundant life. Not one of the prosperity gospel, but one of great reward which we will see on earth or in heaven. The struggle I found myself in was, ‘Am I providing enough love, time and resources for my kids?’ ‘Am I meeting their emotional needs or finding resources to meet those needs?’ ‘Am I really dealing with my stuff or am I handing it down to the next generation?’ As I have walked through each scenario, it became clear that letting the Lord reshape my identity into what he sees is more important than trying to be all things to all people.
Coming to the end of yourself
Healing family wounds comes around when you come to the end of yourself. As I sat there in February, severely exhausted with compassion fatigue for all things, it became apparent I was needing to let the Lord reset me. Resetting means to change course or find a new direction. What needed to be stripped away from me was trying to control the outcome of things I’m not in control of. Or trying to make people conform to my will instead of seeing and loving them as God sees and loves them. After years of rejection in relationships, I haven’t wanted to put myself back out there and get hurt again. And it’s the same with my kids – they can hurt my heart too. As the Lord gently said to me three weeks ago, ‘you aren’t letting me reset you,’ I realized my inability to say no to everything had caught up with me. Sitting on the couch or just crying everywhere I go, were red flags that my system had enough.
Finding joy
So, what do you do? You come back to the main thing. Who and what does God say you are? How has he made you? How has he formed you? And can you enter into his rest and presence long enough to let him heal you? All of these questions lead back to finding joy. In Nehemiah 8:10 it says, “Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.” When we come back to the joy of the Lord, we find the strength we need to heal, rest and say no. In the Father’s Love Letter below, it states just how much the Lord loves you and wants to form a new identity in each of us. We are so loved by an amazing God who wants to heal the compassion fatigue, the wounds from families and generations, and to establish you deep in his love.
Father’s Love Letter
In me you live and move have your being. Acts 17:28 For you are my offspring. Acts 17:28 I knew you even before you were conceived. Jeremiah 1:4-5 I chose you when I planned creation. Ephesians 1:11-12 You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in in my book. Psalm 139:15-16 I determined the exact time of your birth and where you live. Acts 17:26 You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14 I knit you together in your mother’s womb. Psalm 139:13 And brought you forth on the day you were born. Psalm 71:6 I have been misrepresented by those who don’t know me. John 8:41-44 I am not distant and angry but am the complete expression of love. 1 John 4:16 And it is my desire to lavish my love on you. 1 John 3:1 Simply because you are my child, and I am your father. 1 John 3:1 I offer you more than your earthly father ever could. Matthew 7:11 For I am the perfect father Matthew 5:48 Every good gif that you receive comes from my hand. James 1:17 For I am your provider, and I meet all your needs. Matthew 6:31-33 My plan for your future has always been filled with hope. Jeremiah 29:11 Because I love you with an everlasting love. Jeremiah 31:1 And I rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17 I will never stop doing good to you. Jeremiah 32:40 For you are my treasured possession Exodus 19:5 I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul. Jeremiah 32:41And I want to show you great and marvelous things. Jeremiah 33:3 If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me. Deuteronomy 4:29 Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4 For it is I who gave you those desires. Philippians 2:13 I am able to do more for you than you could possibly image. Ephesians 3:20 (Media Center – FATHERS LOVE LETTER .COM)
