Change Me and Bless Him

In my previous marriage, I had a regular prayer I prayed - 'change me and bless him.' It was a very simple prayer. It meant to lay down more of myself and be a better partner for him. I didn't always do it right, hence the divorce, but in the ebbs and flow of marriage, it was a pretty consistent prayer of blessing.

The other day as I was moving sites and bringing over old content, I found something I had written about our marriage and praying that phrase over him. The Lord gently nudged me and said, 'see I answered your prayer.' I have changed... greatly. Change me meant laying down my life and accepting Jesus as my Savior. It meant in saying yes to Jesus and losing my entire life, and having to start over again. It meant that I would watch him be blessed over and over again while having very little in the natural. This has been one of the hardest prayers I've ever prayed because of what it cost me.

Then the Lord gently nudged me again and said 'see I was with you the whole time.' You didn't do this last season alone. I was there with you each step, and no matter how bad things look now, I'm with you till the end. Sometimes our prayers look really silly to the world. Why would someone pray blessings over a considered enemy? Because the gospel doesn't make sense. It means sacrifcing when you want to be selfish. It means helping a neighbor even if they are mean or turning the other cheek and forgiving like I tell my kids. It can also mean watching someone get a big blessing and you missing out financially. And also watching your kids go on vacations you were meant to go on.

I stand here today completely changed. A better person who walks by faith every day. This season of walking out on the water by faith has been really rewarding and rough at the same time. No one tells you hard it is to build something on your own. But it continues to be 'change me and bless him.' Because I believe that as my children and I live out the gospel in front of their Dad, he will change and accept the Lord. He will be blessed coming and going.

If you are bold enough to pray something life changing, I dare you. I dare you to take Jesus at his word and see if He answers you. It might be super difficult and cost you things, but in the end you will gain the greatest gift of all... Jesus.

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