Another season of growth has finally come to a close. This has been a season I haven’t wanted to deal with in the slightest. Change and growth are hard, but it’s normally for your own good. I personally have dug my heels in and said ‘no I don’t want to change’. Growth has come this time in the form of rejection. Rejection has been a theme through the last few seasons, but has also provided a ton of feedback on my life. It has helped me in recognizing where I need to cut back on activities, who and where to invest my time, and how to really help those who need and want it.
Putting the pieces together
I hadn’t put the pieces together this was going on until six months ago. During bible study, it became very evident that I had been dealing with rejection in multiple areas and I needed to move forward and heal. This was shocking to me, but also very freeing. It helped having a label around what was going on.
Rejection can be extremely painful because it may have the effect of making people feel as if they are not wanted, valued, or accepted. And unfortunately for me, I took the rejection from others as not being accepted or valued. How sad is it that we react this way to other people and their baggage. By not sticking to my boundaries, I let the nonacceptance affect me significantly.
I’m sharing this today, because it’s been on my heart to tell others that rejection happens, yet it is possible to overcome. We as a society reject people based on religion, appearances, values and personality. One way to overcome this is to ask yourself why you’re going through it, and how can it help you become a better person. So much easier said than done.
Here are some different coping strategies which have helped the last few months:
- Remind myself how much I’m loved. There are several people who do love me, my husband and kiddos, dearly. These are the people we need and want to surround ourselves with everyday.
- It’s not always about you. Sometimes people are having bad days and their reaction has nothing to do with what you just said. What if we eradicated the I/ME in our statements; How would our lives be different?
- Make sure you have good boundaries in place. Boundaries are essential to guarding your uniqueness as a person. You can read more boundary development here.
- Make sure you have a support system especially if you’re sensitive to rejection. I didn’t realize I had this issue until it came up. It helped me work and think through how to protect myself, and put those most important first.
- Reach out to those who are hurting. By focusing on others, you get your focus off yourself and onto those in need. This is something I have to prioritize otherwise it won’t get done. It helps me to focus on other’s needs and stop worrying about what others think. Other people’s problems (most of the time) are much bigger than mine.
As a family, we’re excited for what lies ahead in the next season of life. We’ve moved to a new area of town and into a beautiful new home. This change has been filled with new possibilities, packing and cleaning out the old, and excitement for the fun family activities ahead. Looking forward to good change really helps put all of this past season in perspective. If you’re going through rejection, whatever form, know you are loved and worth standing up for. There are people out there who can help and help turn rejection into something positive.