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Domestic Violence

Hope in Hardship

Posted by on Oct 23, 2018 in Book, Domestic Violence, domestic violence month | 0 comments

Hope in hardship is one of the themes of my story. Hope means holding onto courage when you feel like giving up. Courage keeps up moving towards hope. How does someone keep hope during hardship? Give yourself grace. Grace is an undeserved gift. Sometimes the gift is recognizing you’re exactly where you need to be in your story. You don’t have to be as far along as someone else. Whether you’re just leaving your perpetrator or have been out of the relationship for 15 years, giving yourself grace will allow you to enjoy life. Finding and holding onto grace can empower you to be hopeful each...

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What is Emotional and Psychological Abuse?

Posted by on Oct 15, 2018 in Book, Domestic Violence, domestic violence month | 0 comments

Abuse comes in many different forms leading to different consequences and reactions. Abuse ultimately is always about power and control. The partners’ goal is to maintain power in the relationship and figure out how to control the other person. One definition of emotional abuse is: “any act including confinement, isolation, verbal assault, humiliation, intimidation, infantilization, or any other treatment which may diminish the sense of identity, dignity, and self-worth.”1 The perpetrator’s goal is to always undermine the self-worth and dignity of the one they are abusing. Often the...

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What is Verbal Abuse?

Posted by on Oct 8, 2018 in Book, Domestic Violence, domestic violence month | 0 comments

Abuse comes in many different forms leading to different consequences and reactions. Abuse ultimately is always about power and control. The partners’ goal is to maintain power in the relationship and figure out how to control the other person. Verbal abuse is when a person forcefully criticizes, insults, or denounces someone else.[1] Characterized by underlying anger and hostility, it is a destructive form of communication intended to harm the self-concept of the other person and produce negative emotions.[2]  While those definitions are very accurate descriptions, it doesn’t encompass the...

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What is Financial Abuse?

Posted by on Oct 1, 2018 in Book, Domestic Violence, domestic violence month | 0 comments

Abuse comes in many different forms leading to different consequences and reactions. Abuse ultimately is always about power and control. The partners’ goal is to maintain power in the relationship and figure out how to control the other person. Financial abuse is one of the ways an abuser gains control of the situation. Financial abuse occurs when one intimate partner has control over the other partner’s access to economic resources, such as their source of income, credit cards, etc. This form of abuse is often prevalent and very subtle. The partner slowly works their control over the victim...

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Were you a Christian during your abusive marriage?

Posted by on Aug 29, 2018 in Compassion, Domestic Violence, Marriage | 0 comments

I’ve had people ask me several times if I was Christian during my first marriage. Some Christians find it hard to believe you can enter a marriage like this and be a Christian. I beg to differ as I was personally naive and ignored the warning signs. An early twenty-something doesn’t always have the life skills to recognize when something is amiss in someone else. I was recently at a book event and this question came up after my talk. While being taken aback for 30 seconds, I gave them an answer I think they weren’t expecting. Yes I was Christian. Did I act like one during this phase of life?...

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Roller Coasters

Posted by on Jun 1, 2018 in Domestic Violence, Encouragement, Hope | 0 comments

I love roller coasters! We grew up going to Cedar Point in Sandusky, OH and rode them almost every summer when we visited my grandparents. They are so much fun with the twists and turn, and never knowing what’s around the next bend or corner. My son is also a dare devil and loves to ride them too. We recently rode one at the Kiddie Park in Oklahoma and it was a blast getting to watch him squeal with delight as we went around the track. My daughter didn’t care for it at all and is definitely my more cautious child. This got me thinking about how life can be like a roller coaster. You...

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